Can I sleep train without night weaning? (And the other way round)
Sleep training and night weaning are two different things, and you do not have to do them together. Here is how to do either one on its own.
Short answer: can you do one without the other?
- Yes, both ways. Sleep training teaches your baby to fall asleep on her own; night weaning moves her calories from the night into the day. They are separate.
- To sleep train without night weaning: do the training at bedtime only, and keep feeding at night. Most babies then wake for you only when they are genuinely hungry.
- If the feeds do not drop by themselves, schedule them — say midnight and 4 a.m. — and settle her without feeding outside those times.
- To night wean without sleep training: feed more during the day for a day or two, then hold the line at night while staying with her. It works even when you co-sleep.
- Whatever you do at bedtime, be ready to do at 3 a.m. Babies expect the same thing in the night that they got in the evening.
Would you like to listen to a podcast episode about this? Can I sleep train without night weaning?
Can you sleep train without night weaning, or night wean without sleep training?
So today I'm going to answer two questions that are related; in fact, they're opposites. The first question is: can I sleep train without night weaning? And the second question is: can I night wean without sleep training? And the answer, the short answer, is yes to both questions.
First of all, let's define what "night weaning" and "sleep training" means.
What is sleep training, and why does it reduce night waking?
Sleep training means that you teach your child to fall asleep independently, and the goal of sleep training is to teach this to your child, hoping that he or she would wake up less often during the night. And the reason for this is that babies, just like adults, tend to wake up between sleep cycles. Usually when we wake up between sleep cycles we just look around and register that our environment is safe, everything is normal, and we just go back to sleep. Maybe we turn, we adjust our pillows, and we go back to sleep.
We usually don't even remember the episode. Babies do the same. The difference is that their sleep cycles are shorter than ours, and also they tend to wake up more between sleep cycles. Even babies don't wake up usually between all of the sleep cycles, but they tend to wake up more often than adults.
And the result is that they get more of these wake-ups in a night. And the other difference is that many babies fall asleep with the help of their parents, but when they wake up, the parent is not there. And after about 3 to 4 months of age, usually it's said that it's the 4-month sleep regression when this happens. After 3 months of age, babies become aware enough of their environment to notice this difference, and they register this as something that they don't like.
Maybe something frightening, or something unusual. And even if they are not frightened by the fact that you are not there, although you were there when they fell asleep, and now in the middle of the night you are not there, they won't be able to fall back asleep independently or alone, because that's not something that they do. They haven't learned how to self-settle, they haven't learned how to fall asleep independently, so if they didn't know how to do it in the evening, they won't know how to do it at night. So they will call for your help.
Smaller babies will do it by crying and demand that you come back and do exactly the same as you did in the evening. So when you sleep train your baby, it means that you teach them to fall asleep independently in the evening, and usually babies transfer this knowledge to the night. So if they know how to fall asleep independently in the evening, they will know how to do it at night. Plus, if they fell asleep without you in their crib alone, then it won't be strange to find themselves alone in their crib in the middle of the night.
So that's sleep training.
What is night weaning?
Okay, and what is night weaning? Night weaning is to stop feeding the baby at night and transferring the calories that they consumed at night to the daytime. So basically, you're feeding your baby a little bit more during the day, and you hope that your baby won't wake up because of hunger at night. It can happen the other way around, so you stop feeding your baby, and of course he will be very hungry the next day, and then he will eat more the next day, and because of that he won't be hungry enough to wake up at night.
Why the two get confused: learned hunger
Okay, so obviously sleep training and night weaning is very connected, because you cannot always know why your baby woke up, right? You don't know whether it's because he doesn't know how to fall back asleep independently, or is it because he's genuinely hungry. And also there's a thing called learned hunger, so if you feed your baby at regular intervals, then he will get hungry at regular intervals, and it can be a habit. So if the baby is old enough for eating enough during the day and going longer stretches without eating at night, even if the baby is old enough for this, he might not do it by himself because he's not used to it.
So the goal of night weaning is to get rid of this habit and let babies eat more during the day, and hope that they won't need food at night. Okay, so that's night weaning.
How many night feeds are normal at each age?
So the first question, "Can I sleep train without night weaning?" usually arises when parents would like to wake up less often during the night, but they still want to feed their babies because they are too small for night weaning. So what is considered too small? If you read different books, you will find very different answers, but what I'm going to tell you is kind of a middle ground consensus about this. So usually before 3 months of age, feeding on demand is recommended.
So if you feed your baby on demand, that's usually every 2 to 3 hours, but very small babies, it can happen that very small babies wake up to eat every hour. It can also happen that your baby doesn't wake up at night for feeding, even as a newborn. How you deal with this is something you should really discuss with your pediatrician, because there could be reasons for waking your baby up for feeding. That's low birth weight usually, and also risk for jaundice.
So if your baby is too small for his age, or if your baby was born prematurely, your pediatrician might prescribe scheduled feedings at night so that your baby gains weight quicker. And it's usually every 3 to 4 hours. The other reason to do this is risk for jaundice. So right after birth, many babies develop a mild case of jaundice, and drinking more breast milk actually helps with this.
So that's why sometimes for the first week or two, pediatricians prescribe scheduled feedings for the night. Okay, so after the newborn stage, usually the amount of night feedings decreases, and there are different numbers for exclusively formula-fed babies and for breastfed or mixed-fed babies. Mixed-fed is when you also breastfeed but also supplement with formula. And also for babies with reflux, even if formula-fed.
So if your baby suffers from reflux, it means that he loses some of the milk that he consumes, so you might have to make up for it with more feedings. So between 3 and 4 months of age, it's usually 2 or 3 feedings per night for breastfed babies, mixed-fed babies, or babies with reflux. And less, one less feeding for formula-fed babies, so 1 or 2 feedings per night. Between 5 and 9 months of age, it's usually 1 or 2 feedings for breastfed babies, and 0 or 1 feedings for formula-fed babies.
And usually you don't have to feed formula-fed babies after 7 months of age, while breastfed babies grow out of these night feedings after 1 year of age.
Sleep training at bedtime only, and keeping the night feeds
So let's say you have a 6-month-old baby who wakes up, let's say, every 2 hours at night. At this age, the recommended amount of night feedings is 1 or 2 times, and clearly your baby cannot be hungry so many times because he doesn't even drink that often during the day. So if during the day your baby can go 3 hours without breastfeeding, then there could be no reason for him to feed more often during the night. So this means that some of the wake-ups are actually just wake-ups due to the fact that he cannot go back to sleep alone or independently.
He cannot self-settle. So you want to sleep train your baby, teach him to fall asleep independently, but you don't want to miss all the night feedings, right? So what you can do is start sleep training at bedtime. It means that whatever sleep training method you choose, you do it at bedtime.
And the goal is that your baby falls asleep independently in the evening. But if your baby wakes up at night, you would still breastfeed him. You do it for a few days and see if the number of night feedings decreases. So once your baby already learned to fall asleep independently in the evening, you can expect that when your baby wakes up between sleep cycles, she would go back to sleep independently.
And she won't wake you up unless she is actually hungry. So when she wakes up between sleep cycles and she is hungry, then she will cry for you, and then you can breastfeed her. So that's the ideal case, right? So that your baby learns to fall asleep independently in the evening, transfers this knowledge to the night, and will cry for you less often because she will only cry when she's actually hungry.
If the night feeds do not decrease on their own: scheduled feeds
That said, it can take some days, or maybe weeks, for this to settle, because as I said, your baby also has a habit of feeding at night. She's probably already used to feeding at night. So it can happen that the number of night feedings won't decrease by itself. In this case, what you should do is that you schedule some feedings for, let's say, your baby goes to bed at 8, and you say that the first feeding will be at midnight, and the second feeding will be at 4 a.m., and there will be only 2 feedings at night.
So if your baby wakes up before midnight, then you don't feed her, and you do the sleep training at night too. But if your baby wakes up after midnight, then that will count as the first feeding. And then again, if your baby wakes up before 4 a.m. the next time, then you will do the same sleep training method. But if she wakes up after 4 a.m., then you feed her, and that counts as the second feeding for the night.
So in this case, you have to do both bedtime sleep training and nighttime sleep training. But as I said, I would wait with nighttime sleep training for at least a week after bedtime sleep training is over, because it might take time for your baby to adjust to this, and it can happen that night feedings will decrease after a week or so.
Can I night wean without sleep training?
So the opposite question is less common. It's, "Can I night wean without sleep training?" So the context could be, for example, a co-sleeping family where the baby falls asleep while breastfeeding. So the mother feeds the baby to sleep, and then stays there in the bed with her baby the whole night. So falling asleep independently is not a goal, because the mother stays there at night, but she might not want to breastfeed the whole night.
So it can happen, especially with co-sleeping breastfeeding babies. It's very common that the baby will wake up between sleep cycles and will just go for the breast and feed to sleep again between every sleep cycle. And some mothers are actually okay with this, because it depends on the mother how deep they can sleep or how soundly they sleep. Some mothers won't even notice, won't even wake up, and they don't mind.
But for others it can be very disturbing because they wake up and then they can't go back to sleep, so they will be very tired the next day. So it can happen that you happily co-sleep, but you don't want to breastfeed your baby all the time. So you want to do night weaning without sleep training, okay? You can do this too, of course.
It might be a bit difficult, but it's possible.
How to night wean while still co-sleeping
Okay, so let's say that it's a 1-year-old baby who doesn't need to feed at night anymore, and the mother wants to night wean, but still wants to go sleep with her baby, and she doesn't mind feeding to sleep her baby in the evening. So the baby is already used to feeding at night, meaning that he probably gets a good portion of his calories at night. So to make up for it, you should feed your baby more and more during the day first, for a day or two. And then what you can do is that you just stop feeding your baby at night.
So if your baby wakes up during the night, you just don't offer him the boob, and you just try to calm him in different ways. And of course, setting this limit will be quite difficult when you are co-sleeping, but it's absolutely possible, and some babies adapt to it quite easily. So if it's an older child, maybe a toddler, you can explain it to him or her that boobies are asleep or something. I have a friend who told this to her daughter, and she kind of understood that she shouldn't wake up the boobies.
Or you can come up with anything else, but even with a smaller baby, you can set clear boundaries and stick to them, even if your baby demands breastfeeding.
Why it helps to separate feeding from falling asleep
That said, it might be easier if you do the same thing at bedtime. So even if you don't mind feeding your baby to sleep, it might be easier to get rid of the night feedings if you actually separate falling asleep and breastfeeding at bedtime. So for example, instead of feeding your baby in the family bed, you sit with your baby in an armchair or something, and you don't let her fall asleep during breastfeeding. After breastfeeding is over, you dress up and you both go to bed, and you teach your baby to fall asleep without breastfeeding.
And you are still there with your baby. You can cuddle with your baby, you can pat your baby, you can shush to your baby, you can sing lullabies or whatever. But you just do the thing that you are prepared to do at night too, because most babies will want the same thing during the night as what they got at bedtime in the evening.
Frequently asked questions
Can I sleep train without night weaning?
Yes. Do the sleep training at bedtime only and carry on feeding when your baby wakes in the night. Once she can fall asleep on her own in the evening, she usually applies that at night too, and stops calling for you except when she is actually hungry. Give it a few days to a week before you judge it.
Can I night wean without sleep training?
Yes, and it is a reasonable thing to want if you are happy to co-sleep but not to be fed from all night. Move the calories into the day first, then stop offering the breast at night while still comforting her in every other way. With a toddler you can explain it in words; with a smaller baby it comes down to setting the limit and keeping it.
How many night feeds are normal?
Roughly: on demand under three months; two or three a night from three to four months for breastfed, mixed-fed or reflux babies, and one or two for formula-fed; one or two from five to nine months for breastfed and none or one for formula-fed. Formula-fed babies often need none after seven months, breastfed babies typically grow out of night feeds after a year. Prematurity, low birth weight and jaundice are reasons to follow your paediatrician instead of any chart.
How do I know whether my baby is hungry or just cannot resettle?
Compare it with the day. If your six-month-old goes three hours between feeds in the daytime but wakes every two hours at night, most of those wakings are not hunger — they are wakings between sleep cycles that she cannot get herself back to sleep from. That is the part sleep training fixes; the genuine feeds stay.
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